fuhh!!

apalah yg t'jd dgn dunia kta skrng.
mcm2 kejadian yg x sepatutnya b'laku stiap hr.
entah kenapa org tfkir melakukan perbuatan bodoh yg hanya akan merugikan diri sndiri.
mgkn utk keseronokan, utk mhilangkan rasa bosan atau jga mgkn org tu gila or bekas pesakit mental yg blm pulih sepenuhnya..

hmm...
susa sgt ka utk b'fikir bahawa perbuatan bunuh membunuh ni perkara yg pling dilarang selain merogol, mencuri, mengintai, membuang bayi or apa2 ja yg dilarang oleh agama kita.
tabiat ka apa smpai membunuh pun bknnya stu, malah smpai 4-5 org.
itu perbuatan org normal ka?
setahu sya itu perbuatan org yg x berotak.
binatang pun sygkan nyawa apatah lg kta yg diberikan otak utk b'fikir.
tlng la. apa perasaan org tu if family sndiri d bunuh or d perlakukan mcm org x berperasaan.
habit ka apa?
harap la mereka yg menjadikn perbuatan keji ini sbg hobi dpt b'fikir dan insaf sblm ajal yg lebih dasyat menimpa diri sndiri.
so, apa nak di kata.
lu fikir la sndiri.

p/s: gunakan otak sblm melakukan sesuatu.

You say you're confused

You do or you don't

And it hurts

You say it may change

It will or it won't

And it hurts

You say we'll be fine

We shall or we shan't

And it hurts

You say you're worth trust

I can or I can't

And it hurts



They tell me to change

I don't and I fail

Cause it hurts



They tell me to work

I won't and I fail

Cause it hurts

They tell me to trust

I shan't and I fail

Cause it hurts

They tell me to smile

I can't and I fail

Cause it hurts



You tell me to smile

I try and I do

But it hurts

You tell me to trust

I try and I will

But it hurts

You tell me to work

I try and I shall

But it hurts

You tell me to change

I try and I can

But it hurts

You made me cry...

You tore me apart..

You left me in tears..

You've shattered my heart..



It wasn't your fault..

I guess it was me..

for love can't be forced..

Perhaps we weren't meant to be..



It still doesn't help..

now that i know..

Because for some reason..

my heart won't let go..



I've tried more than once..

to get over you..

but you make it so hard..

with cute things you do..



I thought love was joy..

but i've got nothing to gain..

just sorrows..,tears..

and a little more pain..



The day the pain started ..

reality came too..

It was the day i realized ..



......I'LL NEVER BE WITH YOU.......

i was waiting for one whole day and this is what i get. so pathetic. im sad.

i nvr felt like dis before. i was so lonely. lonely and alone. hmm..theres nothing i can do right now. i was alone before dis but i nvr felt so lonely like dis. its like that no one's care about me. i guest things will nvr change for me.

do heart really ache? if urs not, mine really do. what should i do? only my blog understand me better. does it really matter to sum1 else? i guest not. even my lover does not understand me. i've been in this situation so many time but y does its still hurt me much? y does i still love him so much? n y i cant 4get him easily. i almost give up but i guess i still can stand strong like this. pretend that there's nothing happen to me. im tired. i will die at any time soon. even im not mean it that much. i know that being in a relationship is a good feeling but when u have a heart ache, u will nvr say that it was good. i just hope that someday i will understand y i have to be in this situation more often.

I'm single.
That's one sentence I'm not afraid to say.
Being single is great.
I wouldn't give it up for a minute.
I'm not saying being in a relationship is bad.
Having someone to love is a beautiful thing...
If you don't have all the problems.
By problems I mean the arguing, the sadness, the heartaches and breaks, the rules, the expectations, the lies and deceit.
Being single means being without all those things.
At least when it comes to having a partner.

I'm single.
And I love it.

Tears you try so hard to hide
You hold it all inside
Pretend it doesn't matter
Why keep it yourself
When you got someone else
You know can make it better?
You try to be so strong
But I always know when something's wrong
See when you're feeling down
Hey, wasn't it you
Who's always been there for me?
Don't forget what we've been through together
Hey, isn't it true?
We promised to always be
Best friends forever, yeah
Words you don't need to say
The sad that's on your face
Isn't hard to see through
I've been there once or twice
It's you that made things right
My turn to be there for you
You try to be so strong
But I always know when something's wrong
See when you're feeling down
Hey, wasn't it you
Who's always been there for me?
Don't forget what we've been through together
Hey, isn't it true?
We promised to always be
Best friends forever
When the rain comes down
I'll be there
I will always be around
Just wanna be the one to catch you
When you fall
Hey, wasn't it you
Who's always been there for me?
Don't forget what we've been through together
Hey, isn't it true?
We promised to always be
Best friends forever

i have a secret.
no one know my secret.
even my closest friends doesn't know Diz secret.
i wan to share diz secret to sumbody else, but im afraid it will reveal n exposed to d other person. im juz afraid.
so wat should i do? keep it for real or?? (thinkin' 4 a minute).. ok now i hav my decision. i wan to..ehemm...(think again n again).
ok, i decided to keep diz secret to myself. hahahaha.. nama pun secret can.saja ja exposed in my blog. apa, blog sa sndiri jga pun.
if anyone can guest, u are great..

ps* he's my dirty little secret

if i could, i wan 2 b an angel.
Y?
so i will b hepi always,
not always sad.
so i can free 4m any heart broken,
not feel it.
so i can fly away 4m d one who hurt me,
not always near him.
so i can free 4m any problems,
not causin' any problems.
so i will mend any broken heart,
not causin' it.
so i can laugh,
not cryin'.

Di sini aku masih sendiri
Merenungi hari-hari sepi
Aku tanpamu, masih tanpamu

Bila esok hari datang lagi
Kucoba 'tuk hadapi semua ini
Meski tanpamu, ooo... meski tanpamu

Bila aku dapat bintang yang berpijar,
Mentari yang tenang bersamaku, disini
Kudapat tertawa menangis merenung
Di tempat ini aku bertahan

Suara... dengarkanlah aku
Apa kabarnya, pujaan hatiku
Aku di sini menunggunya, masih berharap, di dalam hatinya,
Suara, dengarkanlah aku
Apakah aku, slalu di hatinya
Aku di sini menunggunya, masih berharap, di dalam hatinya,

Dan aku masih tetap disini,
Kulewati semua yang terjadi,
Aku menunggumu, oh, aku menunggu

(Suara dengarkanlah aku
Apa kabarnya pujaan hatiku)
Aku disini menunggunya, masih berharap, di dalam haitnya,
Suara dengarkanlah aku,
Apakah aku ada di hatinya
Aku disini menunggunya masih berharap, di dalam hatinya...
Suara dengarkanlah aku,
Apa kabarnya, pujaan hatiku,
Aku disini menunggunya, masih berharap di dalam hatinya, oh, oh, oh.
(Suara dengarkanlah aku...)

I fell in a perfect way
Never had a choice to make
Closed my eyes and landed here
Didn't see the trouble
And I didn't care

I can't unlove you
Can't do that
No matter how I try
I'll never turn my back on
Someone who loved me too
I can do most anything I have to
But I can't unlove you

But this one thing I cannot change
I almost kind of like the pain
It will take forever
To fade away

There's always time for other dreams
Why must we erase these things?

An-yŏng-ha-se-yo. 안녕하세요 hehe..its mean hi... my title is a little confusin'.. who is HeeChul..yeah!!! he is my super sunior idol. i like him so much. fall in love wit him even he's kind of girly sumtimes but i like diz guy so much. hmm, ok mayb a little too much. hehe..nothin' much i wan 2 say here.. juz wan 2 tell n exposed dat i love n like him so much..

Diz kind of ppl really annoying me. huh! actin' like an angel in front but at the back,juz like b**** and devil. i hav an experienced 2 hav a fren like diz. all words she said r nonsense n annoyin' like she was d best among all. sori ya, im not interested. its juz bcoz u r my fren doesnt mean i like u. how dare u talkin' bad things bout me n my frenz. u will juz exposin' ur real damn attitude. its not dat im sayin' diz dat i hav d same attitude as u do, no! im juz expressin' wat i feel 2 hav a fren like u. 4 me, i dont care if i dont have a frenz like u! seriously! u juz a sad ppl who want 2 get an attention by exposin' ur real stupidity. u act like a super queen n act like u must b seen by d whole world. do u regret things? no! i know u wont. but all i know is backstabbers will always crash n burn. serve u right! dont go 4 us if ur frenz leavin' u.

u wanted to know the worst about me, the things I told no one and hid 4m every1. How do I explain who I am when I am not even sure of it myself? hmmm.. How do I put into words the worst parts of me that I have run 4m for so long? I will tell u my secrets, I will tell u everythin'. Maybe it will help me. Maybe u will hate me for it or maybe u will understand. I don't know, but I am sick of running. So here it is, I will give u what u want.

I hate u. That is not true, but sometimes I think it is. I will not answer the phone when u call, even though I want to talk to u so bad. I will not call u, even though it is all I want to do. I will not reach out to u, even though every part of me wants to. I will be mad at u, I will want to hurt u, I will always try to ignore you because I am afraid to let you closer. I need ur attention, u know i want it, but I will greet them with cold indifference. I will be jealous of the attention u give others, and I will get mad at you for ignoring me. I will feel close to u and care for u one day, only to be mad and want u out of my life the next.

This is for u, but u r far 4m me. u are the people close to me now. u are the people I want to be close to even though I have kept you away. u are the friends I have pushed away in the past, the friends I never forgave and never let back in my life, the friends I never had the chance to tell this to.u are the people I will meet in the future, the people I will care about until once again I push them out of my life.u are the part of me that is still trying to understand who I am.huh! sad.

huh! sda byk kali sya ckp jgn buat sya mrah. ni x. mkin sya b'tmbah2 mrh dgn perangai dia. i know im not a perfect girl, so jgnla expect yg sya akan jd better dr diri sya sndiri. sdala apa yg sya buat smua dia anggap slah, lpas 2 explanation yg sya buat lngsung dia x pcya n trima. so, sya mau xplen pa lg. susa jga mau ksi puas hti org ni. xsmestinya org 2 akan buat keslhan yg sma b'ulang kali. tp if sya, mgkn jgala. hmm.. td time sya p mkn, dia msg tnya sya dmana. then sya ckp sya p mkn wit my housemate. bgni konon reaksi muka dia after sya bgtau beg2. pnyala. dia xpcaya ni. mcmla sya ni p buat bnda yg bkn2. tp wat do i care . sya sda ckp bnda yg btl. depends dri dia mau pcya ka x. rite? apapun, sya ttp gmbira skrng even blm study 4 nex paper. wat nex paper! adui! reaksi muka sya sma sda dgn dia. gudbye blog, mau study dlu.

b4 diz every nite i will thinkin' bout him even it was a coincidence. N now i realize dat mayb im juz d 1 who miz him but he nvr did. i think its better if i appreciate d 1 who is always there 4 me n not d 1 who i was always there 4. i've nothin' else 2 say. juz "wat has faded is already lost".

I still miss you…
But not like I did before.
The intense aching I felt,
Isn’t there anymore.

I still whisper your name…
Not as often as I used to.
Now it may be once,
Before the day is through.

I still hear your voice…
Replaying in my mind.
But it’s fading now,
Soon silence I will find.

I still long for you…
To feel your touch.
But it’s not like before,
I don’t dream it as much.

I still think about you…
And wonder how you are.
But my feelings have changed,
And they don’t go as far.

I still feel you sometimes…
Maybe you’re thinking of me?
Or maybe it’s just a little memory,
Of how it used to be.

I still love you…
But it’s just not as strong.
Because I’m letting you go now,
So we can both move on.

You still have a piece of my heart..
Because I always felt you here.
Now, I’m hoping and praying,
That, that too, will quickly disappear.

This will be my last goodbye..
I’ve nothing else to say.
Everything I felt for you,
Can now just fade away.

eee...org sda ckp bnda yg btl, ble2 dia ckp sya ni temberang. syytt btl. mcm mau smackdown ja if dia dpan sya. sya ni bkannya mau tipu pun. xda gna jga sya mau tpu. bknnya dpat apa pun. if dpt duit ka xpa jga. ni x. huh!

Boy: Baby, we need to talk.
Girl: Ricardo, what do u mean?
Boy: Something has come up...
Girl: What? What's wrong? Is it bad?
Boy: I don't want to hurt you, baby.
Girl: *Thinks* Oh my God, I hope he doesnt break up with me... I love him so much.
Boy: Baby, are you there??
Girl: Yeah, I'm here. What is so important??
Boy: I'm not sure if I should say it..
Girl: Well, you already brought it up, so please just tell me.
Boy: I'm leaving...
Girl: Baby, what are u talking about?? I don't want you to leave me, I love you.
Boy: Not like that, I mean I'm moving far away.
Girl: Why? All of your famliy lives over here.
Boy: Well, my father is sending me away to a boarding school far away.
Girl: I can't believe this.
[FATHER: (Picks up the other phone, interrupts & yells furiously
ERICA!, what did I tell you about talking to boys?!!!... Get off the
damn phone!! (And hangs up).]

Boy: Wow, your father sounds really mad.
Girl: You know how he gets, but anyways, I dont want you to go.
Boy: Would you run away with me?
Girl: Baby, you know I would, I would do anything for you, but I can't... You don't know what would happen if I did. My dad would kill me!
Boy: *Sad* It's okay.. I understand, I guess..
Girl: *Thinking*I can't believe what's going on.

Boy: I need to give you something tonite, because I am leaving on
flight 1-80 in the morning, so I need to see you now.
Girl: Okay, I will sneak out & meet you at the park.
Boy: Okay, I'll meet you there in 20 minutes.
[They meet at a nearby park, they both hug eachother. And he gives
her a note.]
Boy: Here you go, this is for you. I gotta go.
Girl: *Tear* (Begins to cry.)
Boy: Baby, dont cry, you know I love you... But I have to go.
Girl: Okay (Begins to walk away.)
[They both go back home. And Erica begins to read the letter he gave her]
It says...
"Erica,
You probably already know that I'm leaving, I knew this would be better if I wrote a letter explaining the truth about how much I care about you. The truth is, is that I never loved you, I hated you so much, you are my bitch and dont you ever forget that. I never cared about you, and never wanted to talk to you, and be around you. You really have no clue how much I hate you. Now that I'm leaving I thought you should know that I hate you, bitch. You never did the
right thing, and you were never there. I didnt think I could hate someone as much as I hate you. And I never want to see you, for the rest of my life, I will never miss kissing you like before, I never want to cuddle up, how we used to. I will not miss you and that's a promise. You never had my love, and I want you to remember that. Bitch, you keep this letter because this may be the last thing you have from me. Fuck, I hate you so much. I will not talk to you soon bitch... Goodbye.
- Ricardo"
[ Erica begins to cry, she throws the paper in tha garbage & crys for hours ]
... A day passes, she is sad, depressed and she feels so lonely... Then she gets a phone call....
Friend: How are you feeling?
Girl: I just cant believe this happened.. I thought he loved me.
Friend: Oh, about that. Ricardo left me a message. A few days ago. He told me to tell you to look in your jacket pocket or something...
Girl: Umm.. okay.
[She finds a piece of paper in the jacket,
It says:
"Baby I hope you find this before you read my letter. I knew your dad might read it, so I switched a few words...
Hate = Love
Never = Always
Bitch = Baby
Will not= will
.... I hope you didn't take that seriously because I love you with all my heart, and it was so hard to let you go thats why I wanted you to run away with me... -Ricardo"]
Girl: Oh my God! It's a letter.. Ricardo does love me!!, he must of slipped it into my pocket when he hugged me. I can't believe how stupid I am!!

Friend: lol Okay but I g2g... Call me later.
Girl: *happy*okay, bye, I'll be at home waiting for my baby to call me!
... Erica turns the T.V. on......
[Breaking news] "An airplane has crashed. Over 47 young boys died, we are still searching for survivors... This is a tragedy we will never forget, this plane was flight 1-80... it was on its way to an all boys boarding school..." the Reporter says.
[ She turns off the t.v. ... 3 days later, she kills herself, because of the fact that Ricardo was dead & she had nothing to live for... ]
... A day after that the phone rings. Nobody answers. It was Ricardo, he called to leave a message. "Its Ricardo, I guess you're not home so, I called to let you know that I'm alive, I missed my flight because I had to see you one last time. So, I hope your not worried. I am staying for good.

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, and refused to marry him.

Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying..... "Just take care of my eyes dear." i'll always love you forever..

Now d clock struck at 2am. i shud b sleepin' by now. but i cant.

sumthin' is disturbin' me. dun know wat but i think im thinkin' bout sum1. i miz him. huhu..
diz feelin' is killin' me. i try 2 sleep but dat face keeep appearin'.. shuh! shuh! huh! its stil there.

y u keep disturbin' me. act im d 1 who 2 b blame. siapa suru x ingat psal bnda lain. neway, gudnite..feel better after express here. tq BLOG.
I LOVE U..hehe..


Ps: Xinan, i love u.

act mls sya mau bgtau yg sya ada twin sister sbb nt my twin hepi bla dia tau dia msuk blog sya. hehe.. anyway, i got a twin sister who is a minute older than i am.. mayb just a 15 min older than me. her name is mary magdalene n mine is martha magdalina. dlu time kmi kecil, muka kmi mmg sma smpai xda org yg ble bezakan kmi. smuanya sma saja. rmbut, potongan bdan, muka, hidung, telinga, mata, tangan, kaki, dan smuala. dlu masa darjah 1, cikgu kmi tpaksa lukis stu titik kcil d bhagian pipi kmi m'gunakan pen maker spya drng ble recognize mana stu sya n mana stu my twin sis. tanda sya d sbelah kanan n my twin sis pla d sbelah kiri. huh! mmg serupa la kmi ni time kcil. smpai bju kmi pun sma. biasala, twins mmg slalu begitu. if ble, smuanya sma. but now, after sda meningkat dewasa, interest kmi b'ubah sma skali. taste dlm memilih bf pun mmg different. hehe.. apapun, smpai skrng dia mmg kwn baik sya, lbih2 lg dlm bab meminjam duit. dia adalah along bg sya even sya xpnah pun byr blik hutang yg sya pnjam.. hahahahaha.. oppsss! ehemm..dri darjah 1 smpai la skrng, dat is degree part5, kmi msi duduk dlm klaz yg sma. pcaya atau x, e2la knyataannya. so, as u can see, dat is how much we close 4m each other. now, muka kmi lngsung xsma. lbih2 lgi now her hair is long n straight n mine is short n curl. ok, ckupla expose psl dia. juz look at our picture 2gether k..cheers...

aduh...td i bru ja cuba2 mau m'exposed kan diri dgn m'crita psal dri i ni..tp tba2 ja laptop i t'off...k***** a***....sda 2, lpa lg mau save...hmm...now, sya mls mau type blik...huhuhu! jahanam pnya laptop...xguna btl...so, biar ja la...sdih,xdpt sya mau expose lg...(kecewa)

aduh....ngan2knya....study ni mmg memenatkan..hmm...blm hbs cover past year sbenarnya....tp disebabkan xtahan mengantuk, kmi stop n plan mau tdur...

nah! xtaula mau jawab pa time Xam tmrw...still blank lg ni...aaahhh!! hentam ja la....huhu... GudNite...zzzzzz

hye hye...

gud day for 2day...

nice weather, nice feelin'....

start my day wit a smile so i can cont. my revision later...

tmrw paper...huhu....

Holaaa all...

diz is my 1st step to bcome a blogger..

speacial thanx to Mia Hinata N Dhiela Adhiela...thanx 4 helpin' me to create diz blog...

i like my new BLOG...hehe..Exposed ckit...